The Work-At-Home Conundrum

I've been sick these last few days, but I don't want to lag on posting. I decided to repost something I wrote the other day on the OC MOMS forum on OCRegister.com (slightly revised):

My career as a writer allows me the flexibility to work from home, a set-up that's allowed me the luxury of putting my boys in daycare no more than 10 hours a week, if that. I'm lucky, I realize. But working from home has its own set of challenges, am I right?

It's hard to find "quiet" time. And having an uninterrupted phone interview - forget it. I always have to preface any interview with "I work from home and I have a 2-year-old." And I often feel it takes me seven days to do what I otherwise could do in four.

Another unexpected obstacle is the struggle to convince my spouse that although I'm physically here, I'm working, and can't focus on keeping the house clean during the day. The boys make messes and I can't stay on top of it right away. I just can't work at Superwoman-like speed, doing everything my household and job requires day in and day out, or I'll burn out. And I do -- hence my current illness. (And a nanny isn't in the cards - too expensive).

My mom never worked so my perceptions of her are different than I believe my childrens' perceptions are of me. I recall a day when I was cleaning the house and told my 5-year-old, "Not right now, Mommy's working." He replied, "But Mommy, where is your computer?" Enough said.

I do try to take time out and do fun things. Like today, after I picked up my son from school, we went to a pizza place for pizza and milk, then made a quick trip to the Dollar Store. I couldn't do that if I worked in the newsroom full-time, and I'm so thankful I have the flexibility.

Work-at-home parents, how do you make working in a home office work for you?

Silence is Golden

I'm sitting here at my computer this morning and I pause to listen. It's quiet.

Nate is at school. Jim is at work. Jake is still asleep. The TV is off. No children are screaming. Jim is not riddling an insurgent with virtual bullets in one of his XBOX games.

The house is still. I feel still.

Inhale...Deep breath out...

I'm going to enjoy this calm for the few short moments I have it.

I Killed the Nintendo

At least once a year, my boys and I make the grueling 10-hour trek from Cali to Florida to visit my family. To ease in-flight boredom, we bought our son, Nate, his first Gameboy.

That was a year or so ago, and we were impressed by how well he cared for the machine and his games. In November, we upgraded him to a fancy Nintendo DS for his 5th birthday.

Nate's love for all things Nintendo was pretty well established by this time, and I should have seen the signs. But we were being doting and indulging parents and wanted him to have what he wanted. And we allowed a very bad habit to form.

Nate's love for video games was turning him into a kid I knew he wasn't. A kid with no other interests than to sit on the couch glued to a machine. It's all he talked about with his father. It's all he talked about with friends. He wanted to take his game to the park or beach to play it there, and it was a fight to make him leave it at home. He demanded it from the moment he woke to the moment he slept.

Throughout the Gameboy era, as I call it, I didn't keep a strict, consistent time limit on the amount he played. That, of course, crossed over to the DS era.

I finally wised up and last month applied a one-hour time limit, which he could use in a single sitting or in segments. I'd set the timer so Nate - and I - would know when time was up. I set up a chore chart for him to earn time on the Gameboy. Nate took pride in being good at the games, so I tried to turn that into a positive life lesson as well.

It was all good and well, but it didn't solve the bigger issue at hand - my kid was addicted to video games.

So a week ago, I rid the house of the beast. No more Nintendo. Period. My husband took the DS to his office so he could play it on his lunch breaks. The Gameboy is around here somewhere, and when I find it, that's gone too.

Nathan pitched a fit at first, of course, but it hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. I explained to him that I took the DS away not because he was naughty or in trouble, but because I'm concerned by his need to have it.

He now tries to compensate by playing games on Noggin.com, so I still have a challenge on my hands. But I'm starting to see an improvement - he's interacting with us more, playing with toys and his train set, and being a real kid.

I know that video games can be fun in moderation. And when Nate gets older (age 7 or 8) and can handle playing in moderation, I'll reconsider the ban.

For now, I'm just happy to have my kid back from the clutches of Mario.









Sayonara, dude!